A. This reason alone is a no-brainer to give your ex space. I actually hate that phrase, but it seems to be true..... That's what NC does. technology only makes things worse. Hang out with your friends, immerse yourself in a new hobby and start working out. It's breaking all ties to your ex. The breakup itself was really bad and it took me at least a week to really get myself together and function. Maybe everyone (including myself) can use these set of rules to heal as fast as possible. Unfortunately for men, it usually doesn’t work to get their ex woman back. Writing letters, or arranging to meet 'one last time' to get closure, is a pointless exercise. but that works only until the evening. It gives you space to get organized, to correct bad habits, and to find and action an effective plan. I do want to talk and I want to put in the effort. A. You simply cannot lose on an investment in yourself. Keep it light and let her bring up being back together. In that situation, I would just keep it as iS. A. Let them vent and just be quiet. Mostly, to appease their own guilt, make them feel better, and confirm that they can still yank your chain. First of all, delete their number and block it. First of all, allow the grieving process to happen naturally. However, this takes some time of NC. He wrote me back :thanks for your article on facebook and ur message as well hope things are good with you have to admit i think of u as well. Probably not, but that's not what NC is meant for. If you respond to them, be sure to take a day or two to do so. The No-Contact Rule is one of life's necessary evils. So on the 91st day, you break no contact, hoping to re-attract your ex. So I've been trying the LC I don't message her unless she messages me about our daughter and then we only talk for a little bit when I come to get our daughter. kind of way - and all the time, you'll be screaming inside "I want to get back together with you again!!" The only thing you should actually ever respond to is a clear and absolutely unequivocal signal, from them that they desperately love you and would do anything to be able to try again. Now I know there’s been no mention of reconciliation, there’s been no begging or pleading from either of us even though I want nothing more then to get back together. Bottom line, avoid contact with them at all cost. Q. I can't resist the urge to contact my ex! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Q. Just always try to treat yourself better than yesterday. Posted by just now. Broke no contact to respond to my ex, now he wants to meet up My ex dumped me on New Year’s Day, and it totally blindsided me. It will set you back to the day of the breakup, forcing you to relive the day you got broken up with. Breaking up should always be followed by no contact no matter what the reason for the break up was. Yes, it's kind of a game but at this juncture, it's a necessary evil. If you need to keep a momentum in your sight because it’s too hard. The normal way is to call her, meet up with her, re-attract her and reconcile. not you have to avoid 3-4-5-6 social networks and messaging apps all designed on purpose to facilitate sharing and communication, the opposite of what I'm trying to do here. But it makes the dumper feel really charitable. A. And it will merely serve to break your heart again. Vent . But pain is pain, business is business. Waiting is never an option, I believe. The question is: Why are they contacting you? Press J to jump to the feed. All this “Let’s just be friends” thing will do, is keep you clinging to the false hope of getting back with your ex, keep you down in the dumps much longer than you should be and ruin any chance you have of meeting someone new. I’m scared that I’m making a mistake, but I’m not gonna back out on him. Be gentle with yourself. There will be someone else, I guarantee you that. But that's not what No Contact is meant for. Don't bring up the past (big no-no). Do it. My ex broke up with me nearly 5 months ago. I’m trying so hard to look at things with the lens that people make mistakes, but maybe he doesn’t think breaking up was a mistake...just how he did it. If we use no contact (as many do) as a way to starve our ex of attention, so that they contact us out of fear or pain, we are going to lose. We try and remain friends for our daughter. Tumblr. And the answer to that, is to not try to head-read, or second-guess. A. Q: What do I do if I have obligations with my ex- which make Complete No Contact impossible? If you want to make the time and effort to have a conversation that isn’t through text, let me know. The best thing to do is keep whatever contact you must have to a minimum. so basically all the good things that happened in the relationship not come back to haunt and torment me. You know what they say: "What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger". 371 Comments. Closure, is like Vomit: It comes from within, but you need to get it out of your system. That doesn’t work, not surprisingly, so what do you do now? They may be respecting your wishes. Q. I've been on NC for some time and my Ex just contacted me, what do I do? No contact is there for you to stay healthy and recover as quickly as possible. Always remember: Your main goal when texting an ex is to get her on a phone call with you as soon as possible, so you can then begin reawakening her sexual and romantic feelings for you. The more time went on the more stressed out I became at the idea that I needed to at least reply but let him make any further effort to contact me. She said he is much more caring and loving than before and has let go of much of his disrespect for women, but she's still learning to forgive. A. Your heart's just been ripped out and turned inside out by them leaving you - it's like a phase of mourning - so how s/he can tug at your heartstrings and expect you - as someone who still has deep-seated feelings for them - to just flip to 'be my friend!" Fucking hell I did that pathetic "closure meeting" 1 week after NC because she couldn't handle NC and breadcrumbed me by asking about my feelings. Question: My ex-girlfriend says it’s over and there is no chance for us but she is still calling me and says things like it’s a shame it turned out like this and I saw you today and you looked sad. If you need Counselling, by all means go. Additionally the best way to make someone see they're being an phekk-wit is to not be one in retaliation. No contact is just that. THIS IS PERFECT PUT THAT SHIT IN THE WIKI. I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. 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